For one, am pretty sure that denying the obvious is like fighting a losing battle and is just plain stupidity. After all the stupidity I went through Jayem, I had been very much particular of my actions and words. Afraid and cautious of what lies ahead.
Suddenly the usual brave and risk-taker me just disappeared and went off to somewhere. So okay, I'm not a complete and total fat coward. Going straight to the point, as I sit here stating my mind and calming down my heart, memories would just suddenly flood down. If there is something I get to hate, those are misleading actions. It's been a while of course, since I got to know that person. He has been a teammate from my old team. We're not that close either way, or maybe I just thought so, right?
We throw up arguments to each other every now and then. I just don't know the reason why but I feel so uncomfortable with him. The way he calls my name, he looks and smiles at me? It makes me irritated in some point of time. So in the end, people end up thinking that I like him. But as if, how can you possibly like a person that easily?
Honestly, I barely know him. All I know is that he has girlfriend and is engaged to that girl. On the other hand, I am somewhat committed to somebody else already and is planning to spend the rest of my life with that person. This would only complicate things, besides the fact that one particular friend of ours, definitely likes him. Though, some of our office mates, keep on saying that he is exceptionally sweet towards me? So okay, that makes me feel awkward AGAIN!
He sure has an amazing way to make me feel awkward and confused though. Actions in which are completely misleading in a particular way whereas it is too difficult for me to understand. Of course, I don't want to put malice on it so I try my best to put a gap between us and emphasize our friendship. I don't want to think that he is enjoying crossing that gap. To think that I don't usually hug a guy unless they are close to me for a very long time or perhaps special (like a boyfriend perhaps?).
But definitely this guy has done that. He did hug for 2 times now. The first one was on New Year's Eve, in front of our old teammates and team lead. The second one was earlier, if he is to ask a favor, really now a hug isn't necessary. I got shocked when he hugged all of the sudden and asked me if he can lend him money. Asking a favor is fine, but the hug isn't. So I get to question my co-trainee way back, as it seems that particular seems too comfortable to me which of course I fine weird.
Oh well, much for speaking out my mind, guess I will just go with the flow. Come what may, I think? :)
No comments:
Post a Comment